First Full Day

The sun has set and the day has finally come to a close. It began in lessons, a potentially harmless undertaking that would require little to no mental involvement at the average summer program. Unfortunately, true to its word about being an intensive program, we have settled in our seats for what is to be the first of three full hours of Torah study following the submission of the previous nights' three page homework assignment. The piece was not difficult to write, nor especially unpleasant. A creative piece featuring a conversation between a devout Jew and his ancient Babylonian counterpart on the subject of their respective origin stories. I had, in spite of my annoyance at the presence of homework on our first day of class, enjoyed writing the paper.

Class stretched on. The teacher, Akiva, frequently ventured off on tangents about popular musicians or the connection between the theory of relativity and the Kabbalah interpretation of Genesis (in truth, a truly fascinating perspective which somehow confirmed either my belief that Moses must have been a legitimate prophet, or that the Jewish people will grasp at any possible straw to prove their story, completely simultaneously). The air conditioner insistently blowing out cold air directly onto my desk and raising goose bumps on my arm. I never thought, in Israel of all places, I would be too cold.

Class eventually let out and we found ourselves free to wander the city. I surreptitiously struck out on a solitary quest for the toiletries I had not packed. Doing so alone would have been frowned upon, but I had not been out of the demanding company of new acquaintances for two straight days and I was in need of a retreat. After a short period of wandering, I eventually found a market and, after considerable consideration, separated shampoo, soap, sunscreen, and mouthwash, which I took to the register. My skin, white as ever under the fluorescent lights of the market, failed to deceive my teller for even a moment as to my nationality. "one hundred and six" she said in clean, unaccented English. I awkwardly paid with two hundreds and departed with my abundance of change.

Returning to campus, I lounged on the grass with a few other students waiting for Shabbat to begin. I showered and changed four times before settling on how to display my full white attire. Before leaving the dorm, regardless of the booming reggae my roommates were blasting, the jetlag took hold again and I fell hopelessly asleep to the tunes of loud teenage boys. My groggy state would continue well into services, much to my embarrassment as I was woken over and over again.

To conclude the evening, our makeshift "family" gathered on the playground to talk as the sky darkened. I have just come from yet another mixer in which every person was paired up and instructed to have a series of twenty second conversations with their rotating partners, an activity in which I finally began to thrive. I have found my comfort zone here. I can now carry on a conversation with most of the people I meet. I find that the key to this new found confidence is in two parts. 1) Dress for success. 2) don't try to be "always on".

I sit now in the silence of my empty dorm, debating an early bedtime even though we are not meant to be up until 11 tomorrow for the holiday, and enjoy the peace I get. A nagging voice in my head won't allow me to go so quietly though. I am torn between rejoining the group and attempting to strengthen the connections I have built, or taking a well needed withdrawal. In any case, I'm looking forward to a relaxing day tomorrow.

Shabbat Shalom and Laila Tov.